Saturday, 22 November 2008

DO WE *REALLY* NEED LESSONS IN THIS???

So tonight I was idly browsing the net and in between twitter-ing my ass off, looking up celebrity diet tips and buying christmas gifts, I happened across this article.


It made me laugh. So thanks for that.

I will need to remember that next time I'm caught in a rain storm with my beloved (presuming I find one of those) that I shouldn't try and find shelter (bearing in mind my hair does NOT take kindly to water) but instead have a massive make-out session.

Then there's the "power kiss". Now, perhaps I just have a dirty mind but . . . what do THESE words indicate to you . . . ?

"Sometimes the most passionate kisses have very little to do with your mouth. Rather, it’s the commanding way you use your hands that can make sparks fly."

Maybe it IS just me . . .

Or next time I have frozen grapes or ice-cubes or marshmallow fluff or mints around, I'll use them to make my man's mouth tingle as we kiss. Oh yeah. Cos THAT'S the first thing that springs to mind . . .

Then there's the "stop-and-go" kiss which is where you PROMISE (have you signed something here?) to kiss at every red light. I mean, this seems a bit dangerous to me. In fact, I'm sure I was a passenger in the car once where this happened and frankly I ended up fearing we were going to end up getting rear-ended (by a CAR!!! mind OUT of the gutter please!).

Anyway, the whole article annoyed me. It's all well and good trying to spice up our kissing-lives but whatever happened to just enjoying a kiss for its own sake? Maybe it's just because I went so long (until last week, obviously!) without a snog that I feel like this but I don't think people should be telling us how to kiss. Is it any wonder that the article came courtesy of a dating website? I can't help but feel this is the reason why it's a bit contrived.

That being said, I probably can't really judge. Back when I was 21 (and completely inexperienced!), my friend gave me this book. And I have, admittedly in the past, TRIED to follow the advice (probably unsuccessfully). So really I'm not all that equipped to slag off a kissing guide.

Ha.


7 comments:

  1. I was kinda grossed out by these suggestions.

    I don't want to go searching around someone's mouth for a half eaten mint. If I tried the marshmallow fluff I'd probably just end up with marshmallow all in my hair. Kissing at every red light would get sooooooo annoying. And yeah, getting drenched in the rain makes me feel the opposite of whatever I feel when I want to kiss someone.

    This list is crap.

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  2. lol some of those were hilarious! i think whoever wrote that out spent way too much time thinking about it :)

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  3. If only I could kiss someone through the screen :(

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  4. oh man that book...

    I am just happy if I get kissed at all.

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  5. thanks to an ex-girlfriend I despise the sexualization of marshmallow fluff...but that is a different story all together.

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  6. at least i'm skinny - agreed. on all points!!

    ria - yep, and it especially grosses me out the fact that people have actually given their thoughts on how sexy it is to do this stuff!

    thrice - just don't try to kiss someone through thr screen in the rain - there's a possibility of electrocution there, I reckon . . .

    chele - exactly!!!

    boredthoughts - now this sounds like a story I'd like to hear . . . I'm intrigued!!!

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  7. hahaha, I'll try to follow your advice, but I'm quite an impulsive person...maybe when the moment comes, I'll rather have an electric kiss than none at all.

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