For my 28th birthday last year, one of my friends bought me "The Rules".
An interesting read in a it's-a-load-of-bollocks-but-you-can't-stop-reading-it kinda way. Car-crash reading, perhaps?
I'm not sure why I don't believe in it. It's not like I'm a massive feminist but it does annoy me how much these rules seem to completely fly in the face of feminism. It's like they're saying "if you don't let the guy do everything, your relationship will be over before it has even started".
Is that really the case, guys???
One of the rules, for example, states that the girl should not approach the guy under any circumstances. She has to wait for him to come to her. Why? Because otherwise she may have set off a chain reaction of events that wasn't meant to happen. The guy will give into the girl's advances and end up seeing her but he won't really care cos he didn't approach her first and therefore the relationship is doomed to failure. Seriously. This is what it says.
Surely that can't be true in all cases???
Then there's the one which says that the girl should never phone the guy. It should always be the other way around. This is not only how we apparently keep them keen, it also is a way to punish them when they aren't treating us well - in other words, if we think they're losing interest, we just don't answer our phone for a week.
There are case studies to prove it and everything!!!
(So it must be true . . . )
I can't help but feel that the first rule I mentioned and the second don't really sit well together, in fact they kind of contradict each other. But I can't think how to word why I feel this way.
The thing that worries me is that when I first read the book I realised I actually am a Rules girl.
Because it's not that I see not phoning someone, or ignoring someone until they make an effort, or not approaching a guy as some kind of tactic in the fight to prove someone is interested in me.
But because I am so worried that I might make a wrong move, that I might fuck things up. And I'm too damn shy half the time to do anything about anything.
It's no bloody wonder I'm single, right???
Perhaps I should get dating coaching . . . No???
Here's the top ten rules . . . if you want a laugh. :)