Tuesday, 25 May 2010

3 IN A ROW . . . EMBARRASSING TALES FROM THE SUBWAY!!!

I was thinking today about embarrassing things that have happened to me on the way to work today (my mp3 player is acting up so I need to think instead - blurgh, I HATE thinking!) and I remembered how back when I was a student I managed to embarrass myself three times in the space of a week on the Glasgow Subway. In fact, it was actually three days in a ROW!!! Which makes it even worse.

So in lieu of anything else to talk about today (I'm in another rager of a mood but it IS Cheer-Me-Up Tuesday), I thought I'd sum up those three embarrassing incidents.

It started off relatively small and got worse as the week went on . . .

The Tuesday (SLIGHT embarrassment . . .): The train pulled up at Kelvinbridge station. I was the only person to get off and started heading along the platform towards the stairs. The train was still sitting there with all the people on it. I wasn't really paying attention to anything. Halfway along the platform I realised I had went in the wrong direction. The stairs were the other way and I was headed directly for a wall in full view of the train I had just exited. Quick about-turn and bolt for the stairs.

The Wednesday (VERY embarrassed . . .): I generally don't run for trains. This incident proves why. I was walking down the stairs to my station as the train pulled in. I didn't think I would make it but the girl two steps in front of me started running for it and seemed to be making it, so I made a split decision and ran after her. Unfortunately I got caught in the doors. Well, when I say I got caught . . . they kind of open again when they hit an obstruction. i.e. ME. So one door hit me, knocked me into the other door and then I stumbled into the carriage, red-faced, with everyone looking at me. And then had to stay in the carriage, pretending to act nonchalant for the rest of the journey. Y'know, like I had MEANT for that to happen. I don't think I pulled it off somehow . . .

The Thursday: (the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me on the underground - I don't count the time I spewed on it because 1) I had someone with me, 2) I was drunk and 3) I spewed EVERYWHERE that night, not exclusively on the subway) It was early morning rush hour and I had to stand on the train. There's always a certain point between two stations where the train would suddenly swing one way and then back in the other direction really rapidly, but as long as you were sitting, grabbing onto an overhead bar, or wrapped around a pole, you were generally safe from falling over. I was holding onto a pole but quite stretched out due to the fact that the train was so busy. As the train swung from one side to the other, I lost my balance and . . . fell onto a man's lap. A man who was old and possibly homeless. And MAY have been quite happy to see me. (Although I cannot confirm or deny that).

I have done many embarrassing things in my life, and okay, none of them rank up there with the worst of them. But since these were done in the space of three days and without any alcohol consumed whatsoever, I reckon in terms of Public Transport Trilogies of Embarrassment (I hear there's a Ministry for it!), they rank right up there with the best of 'em.

What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you while on public transport?

12 comments:

  1. Well, my old roomie and I played the Titanic drinking game (there's a lot of "take a drink whenever...." in that movie and we were very tipsy!) before going out and we sang a little N*SYNC on the train (and did the "It's gonna be me" dance). But that was voluntary, so it doesn't really count. I think the most awkward thing I did on the train was the morning I stood up too early and then, when the train lurched pulling into the station, it propelled me into the lap of the guy I was just sitting next to!

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  2. This post makes me miss riding the subway every day! I can't recall anything particularly embarrassing, though I have had to turn around because I was going the wrong direction more than a few times. I've also got on the wrong train more than a few times and had to get off at the next stop and wait for the right train. That was embarrassing, but mostly just to me so I'm not sure it counts as I'm embarrassed by myself regularly. I did read a year or two ago about a man who had been molesting women's FEET on the New York subway. In the article, it said 26 women had reported it, and they wanted others to come forward. Yick.

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  3. I was taking the subway at some ungodly hour and a creepy man pulled out his man bits and started pleasuring himself while glaring at me. I'm not sure if that's embarrassing or more horrifying.

    www.snafuliving.blogspot.com

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  4. Ewww at Snafugirl's experience! Just - ewwwwwww...

    I don't know that I've ever used public transportation. We got a bus finally a few years ago but I have a car and the bus only stays right in town, it doesn't go anywhere else like dropping you off in residential areas or anything.

    Well, I suppose your experiences might not be SO embarassing if you didn't have to face those same people everyday. Some of them you probably don't but I'm guessing some of them you probably do see on a pretty regular basis.

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  5. ohh that is embarrsing! Though moments like that it's good in a way that you'll never see those people again! And hey it happens to the best of us :D

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  6. Omg, hun you could make a comic strip with all of these. You poor thing. I used to take the train all the time in college & yes have gotten my pride hurt pretty bad with incidents. Luckily that guy was there to break your fall!! =)

    I once was reading a romance novel & was at the really good part *wink wink* & didn't realize the guy standing behind me was also reading my book. My phone rang so I stopped reading & then when I didn't pick up the book again the guy went to me, "Excuse me, but can you finish reading that chapter. I want to know if they had sex". He was a lso the hottest guy ever so I mortifiedly & shakily gave him the book so he could read it. lol. He gave it back after the sex was done. It was hilarious & a lil creepy at the same time! =P

    Oh btw girl the answer to your question is that without nail polish they can tell how you are by ur natural nail color if you pass out during the surgery or have complications. If your nails drain color they know there's a problem.

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  7. Ah, crowded subway cars.. and the many embarrassing moments i've had in them. my favorite, well, not my favorite embarrassing moment but my favorite WTF moment was always where this crazy homeless guy would get on and sell scented candles but would also, in the meantime, proclaim that "George W. Bush is the devil. And the end is near!!!!"

    Thanks for that scented candle, sir.

    -L

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  8. hahaha I've done a few embarrassing things in my life too, but I'm glad to know that not having to take public transportation daily would lead to even more! Hilarious!

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  9. It's not embarrassing as much as it was genuinely terrifying and really very awkward.
    I had to catch the train home from Tafe one day, and one of the guys I was in a class with caught it with me, and all our trains have giant maps of the rail network at some place in the carriage. It was busy so we were standing in the random section at one end, right near a map, and my classmate was looking at the map and then started talking about how easy it would be to take out Sydney in a terrorist attack if you attacked certain stations.
    I just stood there hoping my horrified expression would stop people thinking that I was in any way with him in his thinking.

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  10. Probably the worst time for me was when I was in London at the beginning of the year and a complete stranger decided it would be appropriate to pick lint off my jacket and then show it to me and say "Got this off for you" and then stand a few inches from my face smiling at me the whole journey. As someone who dearly loves their own personal space I was completely horrified.

    And ha! Walking towards a wall. So embarrassing! I had to turn round in the street today because I realised I'd left my phone at home. You feel like such a numpty don't you just doing an about turn!!

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  11. Aww honey, bless lol

    Hmm I can't think of anything right now... being asked to jump the barriers by the station staff to catch the last train, but I couldn't jump it so they had to go to the effort of pushing their wee button instead? Hmm. I'm crap at this game, apologies. lol

    x

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  12. I was once sitting on the top deck of the bus on the way to work with my legs crossed and a book in my right hand, bus went round a corner and because of the book i coudldn't grab the bar in from of me and need my left arm to break my fall. Basically I tumbled sideways into the aisle. The bus was packed and a few people loosened up enough to laugh.

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