DISCLAIMER: What follows is a mostly tongue-in-cheek post which should not be taken particularly seriously . . .
"Sooo . . . are you seeing anyone right now?"
(No. If I was, I would have undoubtedly told you within two seconds of meeting you. Unless I have a reason for keeping it to myself, that is. (IT'S YOUR HUSBAND! MWAHHAHAHAHA! Just kidding. I don't do that. Honestly.)
(Plus it makes me feel like a loser who doesn't have a boyfriend. Because when someone asks if I'm seeing anyone right now, I rarely am. Thanks.)
"Sooo . . . are you still seeing _____"
(Not the Artist formerly known as a Long Straight Line. It's a "insert name here" type line. You probably knew that. I hope. Anyway, if I WAS seeing someone but we'd broken up, this is the point where I would re-hash the entire break-up in great detail. And possibly cry. If you want me to do that, ask. If not, we can talk about poo or stinging vaginas instead. Deal?)
"The right one will come along eventually."
(Yes. I hope so too. I'm worried you'll jinx me by saying it out loud though.)
"Look at me, I thought I was never going to meet the one and then Blah Blah came along."
(Rub it in, why don't you?)
"If it's any consolation, sometimes I wish I was single too."
(Grass is always greener, right?)
"He wasn't right for you anyway. You should have walked away sooner. I know if it was me, I would have."
(Except it WASN'T you and, anyway, half the time the person saying it was in the exact sane situation as me on more than one occasion and DIDN'T walk away sooner. Always easier to see it when it's not your own situation, right?)
"I just don't understand why YOU'RE single!"
(Probably something to do with my seven toes on each foot and one boob that's twice the size of the other one.)
(Or my ability to lie. As per my previous bracketed statement. Which was all falsehoods.)
These are things that go through my head sometimes. I am perfectly happy being single for the moment, I really am. You know this. But sometimes when people say this kind of stuff, it makes me doubt that. Doubt myself. I know it's all well-meaning though. If someone was doing it to be a bitch, I'd probably realise it and, y'know, lamp them or something. Or pretend to lamp them, in my head, at least.
So here is my question for you . . . When YOU are single, or if you ARE single (if so, don't worry about it, the right person is BOUND to come along soon . . .), is there anything people say about it that can make you feel a bit crap?
Or is that all just me?